I am the type of person who enjoys making plans. I draft up the way to achieve them and dream about the results. Sometimes, of course, none of the things I want can be manifested, or at least not in the way I was hoping for. In other words, sometimes everything goes upside down. Because of how much effort I put into my plans, I’m thrown into confusion, melancholy, and a little despair when this happens. In response, I’ve learned to I focus on two important things that keep me grounded and don’t let me drown in my own expectations: I focus on allowing myself to be vulnerable and truthful.
Vulnerability (Who I am)
We live in a world where perfection in all its forms is “right around the corner.” You’ve just got to strive a little bit more to achieve it. Once reaching this perfect state of mind and appearance, no bad vibes are allowed. But, from time to time, life kicks our asses and we’re definitely not at our best. This is where vulnerability comes in. It’s the freedom to allow ourselves to feel and experience life as it is, as we are experiencing it, meaning: without the burden of suppressing our emotions just because they aren’t positive ones. Have you ever seen someone crying who then apologizes for it? I’ve done this myself, and I’ve seen plenty of people do the same thing. Do we apologize when we laugh? No. So, why would we apologize when we cry? Because crying shows that I’m not ok. What I am apologizing for? I have no idea. Am I apologizing for being real or am I actually apologizing to myself for showing someone else my vulnerability? For me, those moments of insecurity when showing my vulnerability are long gone, because I’ve learned to become more comfortable with this, but I still remember the uncertainty I felt. I’m not apologizing for my emotions or the way I feel anymore. If I start doing that, it’s like I’m apologizing for being who I am. Being vulnerable and being honest about who I am and how I feel is one of the most important things for me nowadays. It gives me a comforting feeling; it’s a way for me to show myself that I have value, that I matter, even when I’m not at my best. Processing negative thoughts or frustration is a complicated process and different people have different ways of dealing with it. By being vulnerable and showing our imperfect nature to the world, we connect with ourselves and accept each and every part of the person who we really are. I believe that being comfortable with our own vulnerability makes us less judgmental towards ourselves and towards others. It allows us to see things from a different perspective and process a difficult moment with more ease.
Truthfulness (Where I am going)
When it comes to life, no matter if it’s personal or professional, most people have a certain vision of what their life should be. We dream about a job, a partner, kids, a certain lifestyle, places to visit, things to do, etc. Many people discover that the dreams and ideals we’ve been told are a natural part of life are not actually a part of their own inner ideal. For example: I graduated from law school, but after years of practicing law, I decided that, although my education gave me a lot of knowledge that I am grateful for, this isn’t the career I would like to pursue in life. Because of societal ideals, many believe that once you’ve invested so many years into a degree, it’s not a very clever decision to just throw it all away. But I did. You might be a woman who doesn’t want children or a family. You might want to start doing something completely different at the age of 40. You might have invested years in a relationship which you discover isn’t going where you want to go and you don’t want to continue living your life that way. This is where living truthfully becomes critical. When we get confused on some particular sphere in our life or lose your focus, we should ask yourself the question: Where I am going? Once we learn to respond thoughtfully on this question, we’ll have a vision, an idea, about how to get where we want to be. This vision or idea will keep us on track, on the right path that we want to take– our own!
Although we might get confused at times about our personal goals or beliefs, asking ourselves this simple question and relying on it allows us to follow our own expectations and to fulfill our own desires. Because, after all, that’s what matters the most. It’s not where we are right now but rather where we’re going. We can always make a turn if we think it’ll lead us to where we truly belong.
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